To The Future

Too many people don’t take the younger generations seriously and they need to start doing so. It’s their future that we are infecting and affecting.
The teenagers of this country pulled a huge “prank” on Donald Trump and his egocentric rallies. I never occurred to Trump that there would be people who wouldn’t jump at the change to attend this insane rally.
These are just the latest. Add in the teens who organized BLM protests all over the planet, kids working for gun control so they can go to school without getting shot like the Parkland students.
And Greta Thunberg and others like her who are activists for climate change.
Teens are getting involved with #MeToo so they don’t have to deal with sexual assault like their mothers and grandmothers.
And they are getting involved with promoting social distancing and face masks during Covid 19.
These kids have had to give up a lot over the past 4-5 years, most recently the high school experiences that the rest of us all took for granted… proms, graduation, time with their friends.
But they hold the future in the palm of their hands and they are NOT going to let a gross dirty old man take it away from them.
Cheers to you, kids…. many of us are rooting for you and your successes!!


I wrote this last year, never dreaming just how bad things would get in just a year.

May 17, 2019

My faith in humanity is at an all time low. I didn’t think it could get any lower after Trump moved into the White House. I was proven wrong. Watching the abortion laws change in so many states so quickly had me question what is wrong with this country. And that’s when it hit me. This is all by design. The Republicans know these laws are essentially unenforceable and they don’t care. It’s a means to an end.

This all is part of a very big plan that goes back to World War 2… to make the United States an authoritarian theocracy. I’m sure at the time they never dreamed it would take this long. It started with forcing the government to add “In God We Trust” on American currency and “Under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance in the early 50’s using the fear of Communism as the catalyst (“better off dead than red”).

They learned quickly that the best way to influence politics was to become politicians. Many conservative Christians studied law, not to make a difference and help people, but to help the right’s ultimate agenda; to influence their Christian ideology. For years, decades, they have quietly worked their way up the various political offices until they reaches ones of power. Mitch McConnell is a prime example of this. They knew just what words to say to convince voters that they as the favored candidate should be their pick. Trump quickly learned how to do this too. I have been shocked at how many Trump voters voted him just basically on what he said and how he said it .. the facts and issues, not to mention is his history, didn’t come into play in any way.

Conservatives have been planning this for 40 years. They just needed everything to align up perfectly.. the right person in the White House, the right people in the Supreme Court, the right party in each state’s house and senate. Don’t think they can overturn Roe vs Wade? Sadly, they have a very good chance of doing so. And that’s just the beginning. And then they chip away at all of the other rights they don’t agree with and haven’t for a very long time… gay marriage, the 19th Amendment, the 14th Amendment, Jim Crow laws, separation of church and state and the creation of a national religion.

These abortion laws have nothing to do with faith or religion. Nothing to do with saving babies or caring about children’s welfare, and everything to do with control. Ironically, it’s not just control over women, but control over poor black women as well. The issue of abortion as a social issue for the church is two fold… controlling the sexuality of women, but also forcing white women to have more white babies so that black women won’t win that race. And if poor black women die in childbirth or from botched back alley abortions? That’s no big loss to them. In fact, if white women die of the same thing, it’s still not a big deal. They will just make more of children and half of those will grow up to be women so they can try again. And if Catholic priests and Protestant clergy sexually abuse and harm children? Again, that’s not a problem for them. All they care about is control and power. And marginalizing women, people of color and sexual identities is a way to get and keep that control and power. And the church is a master of using religion to control the masses. It’s been going on even longer than there has been Christianity. Fear and guilt is power. Power is control. It’s no accident that more and more countries are coming under the control of authoritarian dictator regimes. And it’s exactly what the GOP wants, and has always wanted, for the United States. They just let Donald Trump think it’s all his idea.

If everything continues to align the way they want it to, this has a very good chance of coming true. The right wants the lawsuits… that they can tie up in lower courts until they are passed on up to the higher courts until it’s finally sent to the Supreme Court and right into Brett Kavanaugh’s willing hands. It’s not accident this is happening. It’s all by design. And has been planned for decades. They have a very good chance of overturning Roe vs Wade and then enacting a total abortion ban on the entire country. Don’t think it can happen? We didn’t think Donald Trump had a snowballs chance in hell of winning the Presidential election either, but here we are.

And if you think that the conservative Christian Republicans will rest on their laurels of abolishing abortion, think again. This is just the beginning. With it will go marriage equality and gay marriage laws will be revoked. Next will women’s rights to education, careers and the right to vote as they eliminate the 19th Amendment and right behind that the 14th Amendment with gives people of color the right to vote, among other rights. That will bring back Jim Crow laws and segregation and there are even calls to legalize slavery again. Why do you think very little is done to stop sex trafficking? That is another form of slavery that the right wants to see continue, along with legalizing rape. There are people who want to make sure that only Christians can vote in US elections. All non-Christians including Atheists, Pagans, Muslim, Jews, Buddhists, and Hindus would be forbidden to vote, let alone run for office. And by Christian, they mean white straight male Christians. So that would leave out women, people of color and LGBTQ. By the way, to conservatives that even means Catholic. A Catholic president? No way!! A black president? You’re kidding. A woman president? Pfftt.. A gay president? Perish the thought.

For those conservative women politicians who are complicit in all of this? They are also a means to an end. Once their usefulness is done, they will be replaced. And they don’t even see it coming.

I am on a lot other sites on the Internet in addition to Facebook and Twitter. In what were once Liberal strongholds and fairly safe places to post, they are now being infiltrated by trolls. You’ve heard of Russian bots and trolls that do this in all aspects of online life, mostly to influence elections, well now we have Christian trolls doing the same thing, for the same reason. They have learned well from their Russian comrades. They go in to chastise posts, question attitudes, and sow seeds of doubt. Basically gaslighting. People who pose as Liberals, Democrats, Atheists, Pagans, LGBTQ, who are anything but.

Liberal Democrats have several things working against them. The most is their general belief of goodness in human nature. But also it’s Political Correctness, Apathy and Complacency. We tend to believe that everyone thinks the way we do… that if we are caring and nice the good with prevail, and that someone else will take care it. And that’s exactly what the conservative right are counting on. Nearly 50% of the population didn’t even vote in the 2016 Presidential election, and a good number of those were white Liberal Democrats. Many used the excuses that they just were not into politics or the issues didn’t affect them so they didn’t care. This is a clear picture of privilege.

I never dreamed I would see this happening in my lifetime, that it even would happen at all. But it is. I am scared, angry and frustrated. And I’m losing faith in humanity. Even if good can eventual prevail, at what cost? What kind of damage? Which will take generations to fix.
I’ve had people ask me why does this even affect me. I am past child bearing age, I can’t get pregnant or need to worry about getting an abortion. My answer is this. My empathy covers more than just myself. I care about the welfare of others (and why don’t they?). I also know what it’s like to be molested by men I was suppose to trust. I know what it’s like to be brutally raped. I know what it’s like to be judged because I was raped. I know what it’s like to become pregnant against my will. I know what’s it like to have to make the agonizing decision to continue a pregnancy or end it (twice). I know what it’s like to have a miscarriage and have people question why. I know what it’s like to lose a child. This is why it matters to me.

Pain and Trust Issues


I found this to be very true for me.
After being molested and raped, I couldn’t feel like I could trust authority figures to protect me and I didn’t trust boys older than I was… I usually only dated younger boys and even married a younger man.
When religious leaders lied to me and invoked fear and guilt, blaming and shaming, I grew to distrust all forms of religion.
When doctors lied to me about my health, and medications, so they could keep a patient under control, I developed huge trust issues with medical personnel.
When friends were only my friends on their terms, I started to question the whole concept of friendship.

Being Raped


I hate it when women, especially, think that others are raped simply because of they were wearing, where they were, what time it was.

I was raped the first time when I was three. What the hell do you think I was wearing???

I kept my secret for 50 years, burying the memories of being raped four times. I never told anyone, even my family didn’t know. Except for my sister, and we didn’t talk about it until almost 10 years ago.

When I first started talking about, after getting out of therapy, I was laughed at, called a loser and a liar. No wonder so many women don’t ever report being assaulted.

Rape and Suicide

I read something last night that pissed me off so badly, I had a hard time sleeping.

It was a discussion about rape scenes and suicide scenes in movies and one person insisted that these scenes help to “educate” people. That is such total bullshit.

These scenes are there for one reason only… to illicit an emotional response, not to educate anyone. They are the director’s interpretation of the words of the script and can go in any direction and it might not be a good one.

In fact, it’s due to suicide scenes in movies and TV shows that makes a lot of people believe suicide is the easy way out. And they do think it will be easy. My husband attempted suicide by slicing his wrists due to these kinds of scenes. He believed that all you had to do was sit in a tub of water, cut your wrists and drift off into a never ending sleep. He wasn’t counting on the pain. And it hurt like hell! I have no doubt that suicide by any other method is also as painful (if not more) but in many cases it’s too late to do anything about it. Studies have shown that people often are prompted to take or attempt to take their own lives after watching it in a movie or on a TV show.

As far as rape scenes, for some men (and possibly some women), watching a rape scene in a movie is a fantasy for them and they often masturbate while watching, not only at home, but at a movie theater as well.

There are men who believe that rape is just another word for sex, including way too many elected officials. There are men who believe that rape should be legal and that they, as men, are entitled to sex whenever, where ever, and from whom ever they wish… because that’s what women (or weaker men and children) are for.

While watching a movie can be a good start to learning more about a topic, becoming “educated” about rape or suicide from a movie is like becoming educated by watching Fox news.

If you want to be educated about the topic, do some research and read articles and books written about survivors of both rape and suicide. Read more than one so you can get an idea of the feelings, ideas, thoughts and triggers that happen to victims who go on to be survivors. Read books written by men and women who are rapists and sexual abusers who finally understand their own heads so you can get an idea of their mindset.

But the real education will only come with helping to change attitudes. Rape is not an entitlement that someone who is more powerful has a right to. Suicide is not an easy answer, it’s a long term solution to a short term problem.

But in order to get help for everyone who has to endure these issues, we need to make human rights a priority.. no matter what gender, race, sexual identity, age, size and ability.

We need to teach proper sex education to everyone that includes not only the mechanics of sex, but relationship and communication skills as well as respect and consent.

We need to provide good mental health care to everyone, starting when people are children, and those who are suffering shouldn’t have to jump through hoops to get it.

Too often people don’t get mental health care until a crisis hits like a suicide attempt. And for too many, that’s too late.