What is most important to you?

I had to think about this… for me personally, or for me as a citizen of the world and that’s when I realized it was the same for both.

What is important is fairness, equality, equity, acceptance, caring, kindness.

That we see the differences each other and we celebrate those differences as well as the things that we share… hopes, dreams, goals.

We each have our own cultures, background, histories, viewpoints and all of this is what makes life so rich.

The goal should be to listen and pay attention and learn from one another.

It’s really not that hard.1diversity1

 

Change

I can’t believe the things I’m seeing these days and it all boils down to one thing…
 
Change.
 
No one wants anything to change.
 
They will risk getting sick with a coronavirus so they don’t have to wear a mask that keeps themselves and others safer and healthy.
 
They don’t want to stay home for the same reason, in spite of everyone having take out/food deliveries, nonstop Netflix and Zoom. They fucking want a hair cut and to sit on the damn beach.
 
They are sick of the white vs black and why the hell can’t we just say “all lives matter” and get back to life as normal.
 
They are pissed because SCOTUS ruled that LGBTQ are human beings like everyone else and deserve the same rights as they do.. you know, the white conservative Christian Republican hypocrites who grew up learning about the Golden Rule but will do anything other than live by it.
 
They (especially white Christian men) are angry that women have forgotten their place to be silent and stay at home do “women’s work”.
 
They insist that “all lives matter” and that they are “pro-life” until it comes to feeding babies and children, providing healthcare for everyone and helping all people have the same rights as they do… a home to live in and enough food to eat.
 
They are even having a fit because a bottle of syrup is changing its name and logo.
 
Change scares the hell out of them. When in reality it’s the change that affects them and takes away their white, straight, Christian privilege and entitlement that makes them angry.
 
They don’t care about helping anyone else, which has been the Republican way for 50 years.
 
They don’t care that black kids are dying at the hands of the police.
 
They don’t care that BIPOC are dying to Covid 19 at a much higher rate.
 
They don’t care that transgender people are being killed just because they are perceived as being different.
 
They don’t care that children are being abused by their parents because they were guilt tripped by “good” Christians who convinced them that abortion was a sin.
 
They don’t care about their own children who come out as gay and are then disowned them for an inaccurate dogma.
 
It’s said that the only constant in life is change. But we will have to drag these racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic people into the 21st century whether they like it or not and they sure as hell don’t like it.
 
But change is happening. Someday all lives WILL matter, no matter the color of their skin, the person they love, their religion or lack of it, or even little things like how they dress, how much they weigh and other judgments that too many find fault with.
 
Maybe if these people would learn about these changes, talk to people and try to understand things from their perspective, these changes would be much less painful.

Sex After Fifty

I wrote this article five years ago, for a forum that was a member of at the time. I’ve since left it because of their ageism ideas, which distressed me and annoyed me.

******

I’ve thought about writing about this for some time. I’m absolutely amazed that for a site about hippies, where the original hippies from the 60’s and 70’s, who are now in their 60’s and 70’s, age wise, that there is so much judgment and joking about people who over the age of 50. Especially when it comes to sex.

I just read an article that basically said the same thing as to what I was thinking… “Why is it that the younger generation still have the misconception that anyone over the age of 40 does not, or cannot have sex?” On this site there were two comments about “older people” and sex, like what are they doing on Saturday nights (in regards to sex and sex toys) and laments about dreading about getting old.

I wrote a comment about it that was pretty much ignored, and I’m sure this will be too. But I’m going to post my thoughts anyway.

Every generation of people when they turn 20 years old think that when they discover sex, that they are the first to do so and no one has ever experienced fucking like they have, that previous generations never had it like this and they just will never understand! Yeah, right. Yes, I know, we did too… there was a motto that said “Never trust anyone over 30.” It made sense at the time, but we never dreamed that time would go by so quickly and we would suddenly BE over thirty!!

There is a line a movie that says, “We didn’t create sex, we just perfected it”. This could fit great with baby boomer hippies, those of us born between 1946 and 1964. Sex is nothing new. I know that. I knew that then, as most people did. I also realized that in previous generations not everyone waited until after marriage to lose their virginity. My family history is proof of this as more than half of the women in my family were pregnant on their wedding day and gave birth to 9lb premature babies 5 months after the wedding. Sure.

My grandmother even use to tell me about her sexual escapades in the 1920’s!! But in the late 1960’s to the early 70’s, the sexual revolution took place. This lead to the pill to help prevent pregnancy, women’s lib, the acceptance and encouragement of pre-marital sex (especially by Helen Gurley Brown and Cosmo Magazine), bra burning, rights to abortion and pro-choice, erotica in literature (which wasn’t new in the 60’s, but became more mainstream and accepted as well as porn), chants of free love and “make love not war”, the acceptance that women actually liked (loved?) sex, among other things that were considered scandalous and controversial at the time. But they really weren’t.

Many of these things had been around for a long time. But the baby boomers as a group were so big and accepted and advocating all of these things so vocally that it seemed new. It was everywhere and literally in your face. Which comes back to that movie quote.. in many ways we did perfect sex and opened the door for future generations to do so even more, which they have.

So, what happened? When did baby boomers and hippies suddenly get old? Actually, we didn’t. It’s just perception of those who are younger. Which is not only sad, but very frustrating. For some reason anyone under 40 believe the things that they see in TV and magazine ads. That older people are just sitting around, waiting to die.

Wrong.

We are going to concerts rocking to classic rock (remember Jimmie Page just turned 70), we are writing books, we are running businesses, and some us are happily retired, we are still questioning things in society, we are protesting wars, looking out for the environment, challenging religious teachings, and yes, we are having awesome, hot, erotic, and kinky sex (including whips and handcuffs). And it’s not just those of us in our 60’s and 70’s. My dad is 85 and is still fucking my stepmother, who is my age (we are good friends). My dad still windsurfs, roller blades, scuba dives, hikes, swims every day and rides his motorcycle. He plans to live until he is 100. My stepmom and I joke that some day WHEN we do get old, we will share a room in the retirement center. But I don’t see that happening any time soon.

Which reminded me a lady I met at the doctor’s office not long ago. I was looking a magazine when she sat down next to me. There was an ad on the page the magazine was open to for a Trojan vibrator. She looked over my shoulder and giggled. When I looked at her, she pointed to the ad and said, “I just got one of those..” My mouth must have dropped because she added…”yep, I’m 89 and my boyfriend is 81 and we got one to spice up our sex life. That’s why I’m here.. to make sure everything is okay ‘down there’…” Then she giggled and turned red. She went on to tell me that if the staff knew half of the sex that was going on at the retirement home she lived in, they would be shocked. She asked if I was shocked and I said, “No! Encouraged!!”

Sex doesn’t end because we get old. It stops for a 100 other reasons, all that can affect anyone of any age. My dad likes to say that only our bodies get old, but our brains don’t… we are whatever age we think we are.

And since the brain is the biggest sex organ we have, it makes sense that sex can continue for as long as we want. Sure, we might need help in certain areas, but there are so many products that can help from Viagra to lubricants to sex toys, there just is no excuse to not continue fucking as long as you want.

Of course, there are things that happen that cause people to lose their sex drive, but that can happen at any age. I’ve just spent 8 years battling cancer and 13 years as a drug addict (now 4-1/2 months drug free after being addicted to prescription drugs) and I learned first hand that these two things are the worst things for your sex life. I had come to the conclusion, like so many even younger than myself, that sex was over for me. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

An amazing thing happened as I was going though withdrawal after two years of tapering down from 23 different drugs to zero… my libido came roaring back with a vengeance. Whoa, what a revelation!! And a very happy surprise. Since then, I’ve been reading about and talking to others about sexuality after 50.

I’ve learned (and discovered) some very interesting things.

The clitoris actually gets bigger and more sensitive with age. Alright!!

Women tend to have more orgasms as they age, they get more explosive and are more likely to have multiple orgasms compared to when they are younger. I found this to be true.

Also older women often need less foreplay before they cum and can orgasm several times during foreplay.

Older women tend be less inhibited than when they were younger, having a more “what the fuck” attitude and not worrying about what other people will think.

We also tend to be more adventurous and willing to try new positions, new experiences (toys, spanking, bondage, anal sex, porn) and new ideas.

We are less concerned with how someone looks and more concerned with attitude.

We also are less concerned with age; our own as well as our sexual partners.

Often, we are finished with work, no longer have parenting responsibilities, have more time and money than when we were younger and feel a whole lot more playful. Are these things you would really dread? Seriously??

So, what can you do to make sure you continue having sex beyond your forties and fifties?

1. Attitude. If you think you can, you will. If you expect that your sex life will end when you “get old” (whatever age that is; for some it’s 60, for some it’s 30), then it probably will and no wonder you dread it.

2. Think young. Play. Listen to the music you grew up with. Sing. Dance. Laugh. Tell dirty jokes. Shock people. Say “Fuck” a lot.

3. Watch out for drugs and medications. Based on my experience, the things I’ve read, talking to my doctor and my friends, medications is the number reason why people lose their sex drive and for older people it’s even worse. For some reason doctors believe that being on drugs will prevent bad things from happening. But it’s just the opposite. I know in some instances drugs are an evil necessity. But drugs have side effects. All of them do. There is no such thing as a safe drug. And too many doctors are like drug pushers. If a drug has a side effect that causes problems, they give you a drug to deal with that side effect, which causes another side effect, which means they want to give you another drug and it becomes a vicious cycle. Everything that the doctors said would happen to me after I stopped taking all of the drugs they insisted I needed, never happened. In fact, I am healthier now than I was when I was in my 40’s. One of my biggest regrets is that it took me so long to realize this.

4. Do your own research about medications to see if you really need them or if the pharmaceutical companies are just trying to make money off of you. Often you don’t need them at all or there are alternatives that you can use or do instead.

5. Start moving around again, if you don’t already. After years of doing nothing because I was curled up in pain, I am starting to workout again. I’m already seeing more energy and flexibility which is helping my sex life.

6. Think about sex, talk about sex, read about sex, look at pictures of sex (yes, there is nothing wrong with that at all). If you wait until you hop (or crawl) into bed to try to get into the mood, chances are it ain’t going to happen.

I also make a habit of posting dirty jokes to my Facebook friends, which delights my grandchildren. Yeah, they know that grandma has a dirty mind and a foul mouth, but they also know that grandma has hair down to her ass, wears rings on all of her fingers, sings along with Def Leppard and the Eagles and Metallica at the top of her lungs and isn’t just sitting in a rocking chair waiting to die.

7. Lastly, enjoy life.. In whatever way that means to you. Open your mind. Be accepting and try to not judge others. Just because something isn’t your cup of tea, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Try new things, make new friends, go new places, reexamine your beliefs and ideas, learn new lessons and if this includes having sex at every opportunity, no matter what your age, then jump on it, baby!!! And for those who are in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s… don’t blink, because you will be us sooner than you think.

 

Maya Angelou’s Thoughts on Getting Older

1meart

Maya Angelou’s Thoughts on Getting Older

Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring everyday,.
. . like her breasts:

“They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.”

The audience laughed so hard they cried.

She was such a simple and honest woman with so much wisdom in her words.

Because of all that, I share these thoughts by Maya Angelou

“When I was in my younger days,
I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn’t hold my tummy in
to wear a belted dress.

But now that I am older,
I’ve set my body free.

There’s the comfort of elastic
Where once my waist would be.

Inventor of those high-heeled shoes
My feet have not forgiven;

I have to wear a nine now,
But used to wear a seven.

And how about those pantyhose-
They’re sized by weight, you see,

So how come when I put them on
The crotch is at my knee?

I need to wear these glasses
As the print’s been getting smaller;

And it wasn’t very long ago
I know that I was taller.

Though my hair has turned to gray
And my skin no longer fits.

On the inside, I’m the same old me.
It’s the outside’s changed a bit.

But, on a positive note . . .

I’ve learned that no matter what happens,
or how bad it seems today,
life does go on,
and it will be better tomorrow.

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about
a person by the way he/she handles
these three things:

a rainy day,
lost luggage,
and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I’ve learned that regardless of
your relationship with your parents,
you’ll miss them when
they’re gone from your life.

I’ve learned that making
a “living” is not the same
thing as making a “life.”

I’ve learned that life
sometimes gives you a second chance.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go
through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands:

You need to be able to throw something back.

I’ve learned that whenever I decide
something with an open heart,
I usually make the right decision.

I’ve learned that even when I have pains,
I don’t have to be one.

I’ve learned that every day
you should reach out and touch someone.

People love a warm hug,
or just a friendly pat on the back.

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I’ve learned that people will
forget what you said,

people will forget what you did,

but people will never
forget how you made them feel.”