Good sex starts in the brain and it works it’s way down the body. It starts with thinking about it and learning about it. It moves down to observation (yes, including porn), but also looking at bodies.. your partners and your own. It’s that first time you touch and feel the electricity. It’s the first time you smell the scent of the other person, from a casual encounter to the more intimate. It’s the taste of the first kiss that later becomes the taste of their sexual organs. It’s the sound of their voice, their laugh, their sighs, their moans, groans and gasps. But these other sensual needs and desires mean nothing until you focus your thoughts on your expectations of your sexual encounter, your desires to please your partner and to enjoy their pleasure as much as your own. To learn about the techniques of sex, to be open to the possibilities, and the willingness to try new things.
I’ve talked to a lot of people of all ages about sex, but mostly to both men and women, gay and straight, of my own age group and came to some startling realizations.
What everyone is looking for is very simple… it’s a connection. Everyone wants to be wanted and desired. They want undivided attention. They want to know that THEY matter.
It’s not what you look like. It’s what you think. We get so busy and distracted these days with so many other things, that human feelings get lost in the shuffle. People would rather look down at their phone instead of looking into their partner’s eyes. They would rather listen to their music playlist than the satisfied sighs after good sex. They would rather update their Facebook status instead listen to to someone share their deepest secrets and fantasies.
No wonder people feel lost and lonely. They are missing that connection.