I started on anti-depressants, anti-anxiety drugs and sleeping pills right after my daughter died. Four different pain meds were added when I got cancer the first time and continued until the end of my third round. I was on so many drugs I felt like a walking drug store. When they insisted yet another drug had to be added, and for the rest of my life, I rebelled. That last drug I tossed immediately and then spent two years slowly tapering off the rest of them. Even with that I spent two weeks in severe full blown withdrawal and I understood why people just stayed on the drugs until they killed them. I was tempted to do the same. But an inner strength pushed me on.
One of the things that helped me get through it was music. Blaring classic rock at high volumes, I focused on lyrics, the musical instruments, the beat of the song, as I struggled against the pain and fear. So many times I was close to giving up, but I promised myself I was only going to do this once and never again. It worked.
I am now six years drug free and 8 years cancer free.